Some Crazy Dream
by x-YaoiWolf-x
Summary: What seems like a bad day to Cloud turns out to be nothing short of a bizarre dream when he finds himself meeting the three people he never expected to come into any sort of contact with, there was just no possible way he wasn't dreaming. ASGZC.


**Title: **Some Crazy Dream

**Author: **x-YaoiWolf-x

**Rating: **K+ for mild cursing

**Warning: **Probably some OOC-ness all around. I'm not the best writer out there (there are many, much better authors than I) Yaoi, Slash, MxM, MalexMale, Etc. You've been warned, blah blah blah… Don't like then don't read, nuff said. Grammar, I didn't proofread this very thoroughly and I don't have a beta so there's probably typos in there somewhere. Tell me about em if you want and I'll most likely fix it. I'm very Grammar OCD like that. Some bullying. Blah, not much really happens -.- Just read if you wanna read.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII or it's amazing sexy gorgeous characters. They're not mine, most likely never will be, sad as that may be.

**A/N: **I've been reading so much FF7 goodness recently I just _had _to write something. And you know what, I figured what the heck I'll actually post it for once. So, here it is, my first ever _posted _fan fiction, Some Crazy Dream. (Ha, say goodbye to my days of not uploading my work… nah, this is just an exception, don't get used to it.)

**~The ****Introduction~**

-x-x-x-

It was a normal day. The birds were buzzing, bees were singing, the sun was burning bright in the sky. Life was good.

Yeah. Sure it was. If you were anyone other than Cloud Strife.

No, today was anything but fine, and life was most definitely not 'good'. Poor Cloud, sixteen-year-old blue-eyed blonde from out in the middle of nowhere aka Nibelheim, was not having the most fantastic of days. In fact, it could probably be considered downright shitty. He was standing somewhere in the slums of Midgar, covered in mud and soaking wet from the runoff of the upper plate, smelling of trash, and missing his wallet. He was also covered in plenty of bruises and sporting a nice black eye.

He blamed genes and male hormones.

It wasn't his fault he was so short and small. He looked twelve when he was really sixteen, his wildly spiked blonde hair was bound to attract attention and ridicule, and his small frame only made him an easy target for bullying. His lithe build didn't help matters either. He looked, for lack of better phrasing, like a girl. Cloud knew all this very well and cursed his genetic makeup to high Hel.

As for the male hormones, well, the bullies were his reason for that. It was all the testosterone in the male body that caused his large, muscularly built peers to beat on him. He was lucky to have escaped them, the brutes. They'd cornered him in the barracks and beaten him good before he'd managed to slip away and run. He'd made it off the Shinra complex (thank god it was Saturday and cadets were allowed out) and to the station as quickly as he could. He knew the others would follow him and he _had _to save himself. He boarded the train -squeezing through the waiting people and jumping on nearly last minute- in time to see his three tormentors rounding the corner into the station. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Once he'd reached sector 5 he'd gotten off the train and decided to lay low for a while. Unfortunately, he'd had a number of run-ins and close calls on his trip through the different sectors. He'd tripped and fallen into a rather large puddle, been chased by a seemingly rabid dog through the streets and had to hide in a garbage bin that stood in an alleyway, and while on his walk through sector 5 his wallet had been stolen. Now he had no way of getting back up above the plate unless he somehow snuck on the train without paying. It was again _not _a pleasant day for one Cloud Strife of Nibelheim. The Goddess must greatly love toying with him, he thought dejectedly.

At that moment, as if proving him right, the group of bullies he'd been running from turned the corner, spotting the blonde almost immediately. Identical grins spread on their faces as they began walking toward him and Cloud groaned, dreading the coming confrontation. Like hell he was going to just stand there and wait for them to reach him though. Nope, not at all. Cloud immediately took off running, turning on his heel and trying to head to a more populated area of the slums. He wasn't really sure that would help him, but maybe, just maybe, someone would take pity and at least give him a proper burial upon his untimely death.

Reaching an area not far from wall market, the young blonde cried out when he suddenly fell forward, a large weight pressed on top of him.

He was caught.

Cloud struggled to get out from under the bigger boy who had tackled him to the ground to stop his progress. The air had been knocked out of him and he gasped for breath as he finally wriggled free. A large hand pulled him up by his collar so that he was standing and a voice above him taunted him. "Thought you could get away, huh, shrimp? What's the matter? Don't you want to play with us?" the taller boy, a broad shouldered brunette with shaggy hair asked, grinning at his friends, his arms crossed over his chest. "Don't worry, Strife, it'll be fun. We'll play nice, show you a good time. You'll like it." The other two chuckled behind the first, openly leering at the blonde.

Cloud stood straight and glared hatefully at the ring leader. "Go to hell, Taylor. Leave me alone!" he growled. The brunette, Taylor Stunnings, another cadet in the SOLDIER program who shared Cloud's bunker, sneered and stepped closer, backing the blonde into the wall.

"What d'ja say, Cloud?" he punched him square in the stomach, knocking the air from him once more. Cloud hunched over, gasping as he sank lower. "I di'n't quite make that out."

Cloud looked up at him, scowling. "Go. To. Hell. Stunnings." He ground out while trying to force air back into his lungs. Another punch, this time to the side of his head, was the older boy's answer to his words. That last hit had caused dark spots to appear in his vision. Damn… he was pathetic. How could he get beat up so spectacularly. Cloud berated himself mentally. He gained his bearings, still seeing black spots and lacking air but attempting to ignore the pain for now. He lunged himself at the main threat for the moment, surprising him and tackling the larger boy to the ground. Cloud punched with all his might at the face before him, refusing to let up for even a second and give the other a chance to retaliate. Unfortunately, though he'd bloodied Taylor up a good one, it was a three to one fight and soon he was being hauled off the brunette and thrown to the ground by the other two.

A blonde and another brunette that Cloud only recognized as Stunning's usual lackeys were suddenly on him, beating him good for what he'd done to their leader. Taylor was sitting a distance away, rubbing his face and nursing a broken nose. It didn't look like Cloud had made much of a dent. The young blonde dodged and deflected blows as best he could, but with his small stature and lack of strength in comparison to the other three there was only so much he could do to avoid his fate.

After a long time of dodging and running and avoiding, Taylor caught him twice to the head and once to the stomach, bringing him down. The lackeys began kicking, landing a harsh kick to his chest and a couple to his lower back while Cloud attempted to curl into a ball, trying to protect his head and vital organs. He watched, still kicking and waving his fist around every so often to try and fend off the attacks, as one steel toed combat boot swung in a clear path towards his face. He just knew that if the blow didn't kill him he'd most definitely pass out. Already the multiple blows to the head and lack of sufficient air were causing his vision to blur and ebb. He curled up, shutting his eyes tight so that he wouldn't see the boot coming at him, waiting for the blow that would leave him a bruised and bloody heap in the middle of sector five.

It never came.

For what seemed like hours but couldn't have been more than half a minute there was quiet, complete and utter silence, before Cloud heard a sudden shuffling of feet and the thump of heels being hit against each other. The shout of 'Sir' had the beaten blonde opening his eyes slowly and attempting to stretch himself out of his fetal position in order to see who it was the other three were suddenly saluting. Maybe it was their sergeant. He was usually here on Saturdays to keep an eye on the cadets that came below plate. A particular pain in his chest, however, stopped him from moving and he was mortified to hear himself let out a whimper of pain. He didn't move again until he heard a low monotone speak from behind him. He didn't recognize it, so it wasn't the sergeant. Another voice answered the first, this one more animated and seconds later it was right above him.

"Hey, kid, are you alright?"

Cloud new that voice.

Ignoring the pain this time, the blonde shifted and turned his head up to meet worried violet eyes. He didn't say anything yet, just looking up at the squatting form of his friend. A sudden thought went through his mind wondering why Zack didn't recognize him. Did he really look that bad? "Zack?" he croaked up at the SOLDIER. The dark-haired man blinked down at him before violet eyes widened and realization flashed across his friends face.

"C-Cloud?" the First asked, suddenly recognizing the huddled form. When bright blue eyes stared up at him and a tiny smile spread on the boy's lips, Zack got his answer. It was Cloud, his little chocobo. He frowned as he looked over his friend. It was no wonder he hadn't noticed it was him. The usually spiky blonde hair was now, though still somewhat spiky, a filthy reddish brown color. His hair was covered in mud and blood. The kid was sporting a black eye, face also covered in dirt and mud, and he was littered with forming bruises. "Aw, Spiky, what happened to you? You look like shit, pardon the French." A half-laugh left the little blond before he cringed and curled up a bit more.

"Is the boy alright, Zackary?" that same low monotone asked. Cloud still couldn't see who it was. Zack stood up then and Cloud couldn't really see him anymore either.

"He should be after a couple potions and a trip to the infirmary," his friend answered. He wasn't sure if the other person said anything else, it didn't seem like it, but he had to have acknowledged Zack's response because the First class was suddenly squatting in front of him and picking him up. A small sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan left his lips and he cursed himself for being so pathetic.

"I can walk, Zack," he protested, not wanting to be carried all the way back to the upper plate and to the infirmary by a SOLDIER First Class, and especially by Zack Fair. It would attract even more attention than if he walked there on his own. Zack wouldn't have any of it.

"No can do, Cloudy, you don't look like you could stand let alone walk." Cloud opened his mouth to argue but Zack beat him to the punch. "No means No." And he shut up. Fine, Zack won. See if he ever went over and baked the idiot cookies ever again. He would just have to go bother Angeal for cookies next time.

He could hear three sets of footsteps start up behind them and figured his three tormentors knew better than to try and run. Zack had seen their faces anyway so even if they had ran they could be found again. Cloud assumed the other person that had come with Zack was walking behind the rest of them to keep an eye on his bullies. Air was filling his lungs again and there was significantly less black in his vision by the time the train reached the upper plate and Cloud told Zack as much. He still couldn't see who the low monotone belonged to since Zack had ended up carrying him on the train because there weren't any seats. Cloud mentally shrugged, whoever it was he supposed he'd see when Zack let him walk. The raven had promised to let the cadet walk once they got into the elevator at Shinra. Cloud figured he'd take what he could get.

-x-x-x-

When the group of them got to Shinra, Cloud was suddenly disappointed to find out that Zack would be taking the three other cadets to receive their punishment and that he would have to go to the infirmary on his own. Cloud frowned at that and Zack chuckled. "Quit pouting, Spike. Seph's going down to the medical labs too. He'll take you there for me. Won't you, Seph?" Zack asked as he helped the blonde in his arms stand up. Cloud froze at the mention of that name and as soon as he was standing he turned slowly to look at the person that had been with Zack since they'd first found him.

Blue eyes widened when they took in the sight of black leather and trailed up to flowing silver hair and piercing cat-like green eyes. _Oh shit_… Cloud nearly gaped like a fish before realizing that that was undignified and would make him look like an even bigger loser than he already did at the moment. Instead he turned to Zack, nearly falling over but being steadied by the black-haired First. "Zack, General S-Sephiroth has other things to be doing. He doesn't need to be taking me to the infirmary," he argued. Zack shook his head, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the blonde and looked to Sephiroth for an answer to his earlier question.

"I see no problem with taking the boy to the infirmary since I am going that way anyway," the silver-haired man answered. Zack grinned happily at him before directing the triumphant grin towards the blonde cadet.

"You see, Spiky, he doesn't have a problem with it." Cloud rolled his eyes at his friend. He was definitely _not _getting cookies for a while. "Now go on, you two, I'll be going now."

Sephiroth nodded at this and made to step into the elevator which had just arrived. Cloud hesitated though, not sure what to do when the General of SOLDIER and the regular army who also happened to be his idol and one of his crushes had just offered to take him to the infirmary. First things first however, Cloud turned to Zack's retreating figure and shouted. "You're not getting any cookies for three months, Zack Fair!" He turned and stepped into the elevator as the doors began to shut, looking back just in time to see his best friend's shocked expression.

He smirked cheekily at the closed doors of the elevator.

A rumbling chuckle from behind had him freezing in place before slowly turning to regard the tall silver-haired god leaning against the back wall of the enclosed space. A light dusting of pink brushed his cheeks behind all the dirt and blood as his eyes met the stunning green of the General's.

He was at a loss for what to say. What _did_ he say to the guy? Uh, hey, Sephiroth, dude, what's hanging? Ha, yeah right. Not likely.

Cloud shook his head a little and raised his hand in a shy wave. "H-hello, sir," he greeted politely, mentally wincing at the stutter. The General had an amused expression on his gorgeous face. Cloud blushed a little more at that thought. The man had the face of a god. A miniscule tugging at the corner of the man's lips signaled a sort of smile and Cloud found himself relaxing that small amount.

"Good Afternoon, cadet. Cloud, was it?"

Cloud nodded. "Cloud Strife, sir."

"There's no need to call me 'sir', cadet. Simply 'Sephiroth' is fine." The General told him.

Cloud blinked several times before slowly nodding. "O-ok, S-Sephiroth, sir."

Another chuckle escaped the man and Sephiroth's smile grew just that much more. "So you are the 'chocobo' Zack speaks so much about. It is nice to meet you, Cloud." Sephiroth stretched his arm, inviting the young blonde to a hand shake. Cloud took it, shaking as he tilted his head in thought.

"I-it's good to meet you too, Sephiroth, s-sir. Um, Zack talks about me, sir, I-I mean, Sephiroth?"

The General nodded. "Often. You are the one thing he speaks about most. The rest of us are hard pressed to keep him quiet about his 'little chocobo'." Cloud scowled at the nickname. He knew Zack still called him that even when he'd told the black-haired SOLDIER not to. 'Make that no cookies for four months,' he mumbled to himself. The chuckle from across the way told him that he'd been heard however, a fine blush reaching his cheeks once more.

"I see that it's _you _who keeps supplying the pup with cookies every other weekend," Sephiroth observed. Really, it had been a complete mystery to the other three where Zackary had been getting homemade cookies so often. They all knew the puppy couldn't cook worth his life and Angeal had a 'cookies only once a month' policy. The honor-bound Commander only ever baked twenty cookies on the same day every month. Enough to last one day if each of them ate only five cookies.

"Uh, y-yes, sir, er, Sephiroth. I visit him every other Saturday and we hang out. Usually I make him cookies before I have to go back to the barracks," he explained, proud of himself for not stuttering more than once. Sephiroth nodded and there was a following silence for the moment. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence and Cloud was glad for that.

After a few more minutes the elevator stopped and the jarring motion made the blonde fall against the side wall, clipping his side on the railing. He hissed as that hurt his hip and aggravated some bruising there. Sephiroth reached over and steadied him before pulling him along out of the enclosed space.

"Are you alright, Cloud? You don't look as if you should really be walking around. You took quite a beating."

"I'm fine, Sephiroth, sir. I can ignore it until I get healed," Cloud reassured the General. Sephiroth frowned at that but said nothing more. They made their way to the infirmary and once there Sephiroth had Cloud seen to by a nurse before going about his business. He had to meet Hojo for a few check ups (at least there would be no Mako or injections of any kind at this particular examination).

-x-x-x-

Cloud sat on the table as he waited for one of the nurses to come back with a few potions for him. He still saw black spots but the blurring was gone and he didn't feel more than a slight headache. He still felt like one giant bruise though. He hoped those guys got kicked out of the military, though he doubted that would happen. They'd probably only be put on probation, or kicked out of the SOLDIER program and sent to the regular army. He hoped that wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass later on. He didn't need bullies bent on revenge coming after him.

A few minutes later the nurse returned with a small box of potions and handed one of them to Cloud for him to take. "Alright, Cloud, that potion should take care of the head wounds and some of the heavier bruising. Take another one in an hour or two and you should be alright." She handed the blonde the box which contained another four potions. "You took a few hard hits to the head so I need to ask if you have somebody who would be willing to take care of you for the next twenty-four hours in case of a concussion."

Cloud thought about that. Did he have anyone? Well, Elena might be willing to do it, but he didn't want to bother her like that. She was off spending time with Tifa today and he didn't want either one of them to worry and try to take care of him. He knew they would if he asked. But other than her, there was no one in his bunk that would do it.

Zack could, he supposed. He could probably find him and ask. It was Saturday anyway. Cloud opened his mouth to tell the nurse that he did have somebody who might be willing when a now familiar voice interrupted him.

"I will take care of Strife tonight, Miyori," Sephiroth spoke, having entered while the young nurse was handing the blonde cadet a box of potions. He watched as the cadet and the nurse turned to him, both of their eyes slightly wide in surprise. The nurse, Miyori, shook herself from her shock and nodded once.

"G-general. If you say so, he's in your hands, sir. You just need to watch him and make sure he's not dizzy or faint. He may have a headache. If he for any reason faints, it's not good and you should probably bring him back here. Potions don't do much for concussions but have him take one every few hours until all four are gone. When he sleeps someone needs to wake him every two hours and check on him. He only needs to be watched for twenty-four hours so after this time tomorrow he's free to do as he wants." Miyori took a breath and smiled pleasantly at the end of her speech and said a goodbye before leaving the room.

Sephiroth nodded once to signify he'd understood everything before smiling the tiniest bit at the blonde still sitting on the table. His cheeks were faintly pink but it was hardly noticeable under the dried mud on the boy's heart-shaped face. "Well, Strife, shall we get going?"

Cloud blinked twice and shook his head to clear it of it's sudden emptiness and nodded. "Yes, sir." Sephiroth sent him a look, one eyebrow raised and he tilted his head in question before realizing he'd called the man by 'sir' again. "I mean, Sephiroth… sir."

Sephiroth nearly chuckled again at the youth's seeming inability to say his name without tacking on the 'sir'. He led the boy through the halls once more and to the elevator, this time taking it to the floor that housed SOLDIER living quarters. More specifically, the floor that housed Angeal, Genesis, Zack, Tseng, Reno, and his own apartments. So Technically, it was SOLDIER and Turk living quarters. _Ah, Details..._

The way up was mostly spent in comfortable silence, until a single shrill beep cut through the quiet followed noisily by a tune that echoed in the enclosed space. _Til the roof comes off, til the lights go out, til my legs give out, won't shut my mouth ~_

Sephiroth immediately reached into his pocket and pulled out his PHS, flipping it open and holding it up to his ear. "Yes, Zackary?" he answered. From across the way he could see the little blonde cadet snickering silently, no doubt knowing that that particular ringtone was for none other than the hyperactive SOLDIER First.

Cloud snickered when he heard the General's phone go off and knew almost instantly that it was Zack calling. He didn't own a PHS himself, but Zack had told him all about how Angeal, Genesis, Sephiroth, and himself all had programmed ringtones for each other. Zack had made him listen to the song that was 'his' and he had to admit that the part that was the actual ringtone made a lot of sense for being Zack's. He didn't know what the ringtones for the other three were but he kind of wanted to know now. He was curious.

"Hey, Seph!" Zack greeted cheerily. "Everything's all been set with the three on my end. How's my little chocobo?" The General could practically hear the puppy's grin from across the line.

"_Cloud_ is fine, Zackary, and says that you are not getting cookies for four months," Sephiroth informed the Lieutenant. He reveled in the sudden silence and subsequent sputtering before the raven-haired First regained his speech.

"What?" he whined into his PHS. "Whyyyyy?"

"For calling him your 'little chocobo' I believe."

"Aw, Come on, Spiky!" the childish First wailed. Sephiroth stretched his arm out, holding the phone far from his sensitive ear. Even Cloud had heard that one. The blonde rolled his eyes, an exasperated expression on his face, and reached for the device, silently asking for permission to speak with the idiot on the other line. Sephiroth nodded once and passed the PHS to the young blonde.

"Zack!" Cloud immediately shot into the receiver. "Shut up!" That, surprisingly, had the other going quiet for all of five seconds.

"Cloud! How could you do this to me?" he began to whine. "You know I look forward to your cookies more than anything! Please, Cloud?" The blonde only shook his head and uttered a firm 'No' at the man. "Aw, you're so cruel to me, Spiky." Zack sighed. Cloud only snorted. "Anyway, how are you, Cloudy? Was everything good? Nothing broken?" Zack asked, back in protective best friend mode.

"I'm alright, Zack. Nothing broken. The nurse gave me a potion, and a few more for later. She said someone has to watch me for the next twenty-four hours because I got hit in the head a lot and might have a concussion," he shrugged at this, feeling Zack's frown and furrowed brow even though he couldn't see him. "Don't worry, Zack. I just have to be watched to make sure I don't suddenly pass out. And when I go to sleep someone has to wake me up every two hours and make sure I'm ok. Nothing big."

Zack was about to answer with more questions when suddenly the phone was taken from the blonde and a low monotone spoke over the line. "Not to worry, Zackary. As Cloud says, it is nothing big. I volunteered to watch him until tomorrow. We're currently on our way to my quarters. I figured he could stay there tonight. It would be more convenient to watch him."

Zack stopped walking and blinked a few times before responding. "Ah, I see." He grinned widely and resumed his pace, on his way to his own apartment now that what he'd been doing was done. "That's cool. Thanks, Seph, you're a great guy. But I already knew that." His grin was clearly heard from Sephiroth's end. "So I guess he'll be there for dinner today, huh? That'll be fun. He can meet the others while he's there."

Sephiroth nodded at this, not caring that the other couldn't see the gesture. "He will." Zack spoke a while longer, telling Sephiroth that he'd meet him at the apartments before saying goodbye. Sephiroth uttered a farewell and snapped the PHS shut.

Bright blue eyes met his when he looked over at the cadet and he smiled slightly. "I hope you don't mind staying with me tonight, Cloud. It really is more convenient. I could have Zack stay over as well if you would like."

Cloud nodded slowly before finding his voice. "S-sure, Sephiroth, s-sir. I don't mind. Having Zack over wouldn't be a bad thing either." Sephiroth nodded in approval and they lapsed once more into silence. The elevator stopped and this time Cloud kept his footing as the doors slid open and they exited into the SOLDIER/Turk living area. Zack was already there waiting for them.

"Spikyyyyyyy!" he cheered as he ran towards them. Cloud quickly ducked behind Sephiroth, causing the hyperactive First to run into the still open elevator. He turned and jumped out just as the doors were shutting, a pout on his lips. "Aw, Cloud, don't be like that. I just want a hug."

"Zack, you would've rammed me into a wall and I'm in no shape to be plowed into right now. I'm not completely healed yet," Cloud explained in an admonishing tone, scolding Zack for his lack of thinking. For his part, Zack looked sufficiently chastised. Sephiroth smirked.

"You still look like shit, Chocobo," Zack then pointed out. Cloud scowled and sent the raven a 'no, duh' look before rolling his eyes.

"Why don't you use my bath, Cloud, and get cleaned up. I'm not sure but it seems like you rolled around in a dumpster and took a dive in a mud pit," Sephiroth rather bluntly informed the cadet. Cloud grimaced at the mostly accurate assumption of the General's and nodded. He would love to be clean now.

-x-x-x-

Minutes later found one Cloud Strife blissfully shedding his mud-caked clothing in the overlarge bathroom of one General Sephiroth and stepping under the gently falling warm water of said General's luxurious shower. A deep sigh escaped him as water that was just the right temperature flowed over him, rinsing the blood and dirt from his skin and hair and soothing his aches and pains. It was heaven.

Cadets only received an allotted five to eight minutes to shower and the water was anywhere from lukewarm to freezing. Having such a treat as a full shower, with perfect water temperature and no rushing, there was no way he wasn't going to savor this privilege.

Sephiroth walked into his kitchen, preparing to make dinner. It was his turn after all. Genesis and Angeal were no doubt still out more than likely on Loveless Avenue. They'd be here sooner or later. It was only 1600 hours.

He wasn't sure what to cook for tonight's dinner. The General thought that since Cloud was joining them tonight the blonde could choose what the meal would be. At the moment, however, that blonde was enjoying the shower. He knew the cadet would be a while in there, it was a rare privilege to have a shower such as this as a cadet. He fully expected the young one to take his time.

This train of thought brought something to the silver general's attention. Cloud couldn't wear those filthy clothes once he was done with his shower. But the blonde didn't have any other clothing. Sephiroth frowned. "Zackary," he called, poking his head out into the living room.

Zack turned at the General's voice and tilted his head in question. "What's up, Seph?"

"Does Cloud have any other clothing perhaps in his bunk?"

Zack thought about that for a moment. As far as he knew, Cloud had his cadet uniform and one or two pairs of civilian clothes. Saturdays, though, were also laundry day, if he remembered correctly, so the only clothes Cloud had at the moment were the ones he'd been wearing. Zack shook his head. "Nope," he answered. "His uniform is being washed and the clothes he was wearing are filthy."

Sephiroth nodded at that. What, then, would the young blonde wear when he finished with his shower? "If he has no available clothing, what is he going to wear when he's done with his shower?" he asked aloud.

Zack blinked, suddenly realizing that the boy didn't have any clean clothes.

An idea flashed through his mind and he grinned. "Why not buy him something new to wear?" he voiced, already moving to get his PHS. Sephiroth quirked an eyebrow and watched as Zack scrolled through the pictures on his PHS. He stopped at a specific image of the blonde currently in his shower. Cloud had been lounging on his bed in the barracks and was sprawled haphazardly across the mattress looking like some type of teaser for a porn magazine. His white t-shirt was ridden up nearly all the way, and his combat pants were dangerously low on his hips. He was glistening with sweat and blonde spikes were sticking up wildly. Both of his arms were bend above his head and he was resting his cheek against one of them, looking tiredly in the direction of the person taking the picture (obviously he didn't know that Zack was taking a picture but was looking in the raven's general direction). He was barefoot and his legs were spread, one leg bent while the other dangled over the side of the bed. Cloud looked, in a word, rather… irresistible.

"What do you plan to do with that?" Sephiroth couldn't help but ask, curious of Zack's supposed plan.

"Watch," was all the puppy said before pressing a few buttons and typing something onto the screen. It looked like clothing sizes or body sizes and a quick message. 'Completely new outfit needed ASAP'. The raven then pressed 'send' and waited a few minutes before taking to watching his PHS. It only took a few more minutes for a shrill beep to sound and a tune to fill he air.

_Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don'tcha? Don'tcha? _Zack was singing along to the ringtone while Sephiroth refrained from rolling his eyes. _Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? ~_

Finally Zackary flipped the PHS open, a wide grin on his face as the first thing that met his ears was the excited cry of one Genesis Rhapsodos. "Who is that adorably sexy piece of ass and can I really buy him a completely new outfit? Explain immediately, Zackary!" The redhead was practically yelling into the phone with excitement. Zack laughed.

"Alright, calm down, Gen," he placated. "That's my little chocobo and-"

"_That _is the 'little chocobo' you're always going on about?" Genesis interrupted.

"Yes. Anyway, he's in Seph's shower right now and-"

"What? What is he doing in Sephiroth's shower?" Genesis once again cut in.

"Taking a shower, of course. Anyway, he doesn't have any clean clothes and when I was thinking of how to fix that problem, you came to mind. You and Angeal are still out and about right?" Zack rushed out, not wanting to be interrupted again. Genesis answered with a quick yes. "Well, I just sent you a pic of what he looks like and his sizes. Have fun! But be here with the clothes in no more than one hour! The chocobo needs his clothes!" With that he hung up, not bothering to wait for a response from the redhead. He knew Genesis would have a field day. Sephiroth very nearly did roll his eyes then, instead he merely sighed indulgently and returned to the kitchen after asking Zackary what Cloud would most likely like to have for dinner.

-x-x-x-

Cloud lathered up, choosing to wash his hair before he moved on to the rest of him. He'd found a couple bottles of hair products on a shelf in the corner of the shower and was delighted to find that Sephiroth's shampoo was vanilla scented, happy to have guessed correctly. He took a fair amount of the stuff and was now massaging it into his poor abused scalp. Those jerks had hit him hard. He winced once in a while when he found a particularly tender area on his skull as he washed. He threaded his hands through his blonde hair, only now realizing that it was rather long. Maybe he'd trim it a bit while he was in here. There had to be a pair of small scissors in here somewhere.

He shrugged, maybe, maybe not. Cloud rinsed the sweet smelling shampoo from his hair and went about rifling through bottles to find body wash. A white bottle read 'body wash' and he pulled it from the shelf, opening it to get a whiff of apples and cinnamon. It smelled wonderful and Cloud could only guess that it belonged to the red commander. Zack had told him Genesis loved apples. Cloud took a good amount of body wash and lathered, massaging it into his sore muscles and bruised skin.

He was in no hurry to leave this bathroom anytime soon. Even if he _was _finished getting clean. It had only been about fifteen minutes. Cloud sighed and turned off the water, grateful that the room stayed warm even after he'd stepped out of the glass shower. He turned to the tub and stared at it before shrugging and going over to it. It looked like a hot tub and after some inspection he noticed that, in actuality, it was.

It had jets in the side of it and was deep enough to sit in. There was even a bench running along the inside. Yup, most definitely a Jacuzzi. Cloud was, to say the least, very happy. There was no way he was not taking advantage of this. He quickly turned the water on, activating the jets, and watching as it bubbled. He stuck a hand in, measuring the heat of the water. Not too bad. After a few more minutes he stepped in and sank into the soothing water, automatically relaxing.

This was pure bliss.

-x-x-x-

"Oh, Angeal, he'd look absolutely divine in this!" Genesis exclaimed, holding the shirt up to the other man. "Don't you think? Can't you just see him wearing it?" Angeal only smiled at the redhead. He didn't know whether he should scold his puppy or praise him. On the one hand he'd made Genesis unmentionably happy. On the other, he'd made Angeal unmentionably bored. It wasn't that he didn't like spending time with Genesis. It was simply that, though the small blonde was undoubtedly attractive, Angeal was not fond of shopping for clothing. Genesis, however, could go about it for hours without tiring. It was a good thing Zack had told them to take no longer than an hour or they'd never get out of here. As it was, Genesis was no doubt planning a shopping spree with the young blonde cadet for sometime in the near future.

Angeal looked down at his wristwatch. "Gen, we only have another thirty minutes. Please make up your mind soon. We have to be back at the apartments before the young one finishes his shower." If the redhead heard him he certainly didn't seem to care as Genesis only flitted through the various isles of the clothing store some more.

"I've found it!" Genesis suddenly exclaimed. He was holding up a pair of tight black jeans with small tears in the upper thigh area of one leg and just above the knee of the other leg. "_This _is the _perfect _pair of jeans for the chocobo!" The redhead announced triumphantly before once more digging through the racks of clothing.

-x-x-x-

_Finally_, Angeal thought as they paid for their selection and left the department store. Genesis had scoured the teen boy's section of every designer clothing store above plate in the matter of fourty-five minutes searching for the perfect 'christening' outfit for the blue-eyed blonde cadet currently in need of clothes in Sephiroth's shower. It was now ten minutes to 1700 and they were finally, finally returning to Shinra.

"Oh, Angeal, he'll look so adorably sexy in his new outfit!" Genesis gushed. "I only wish we could have bought more! If only we'd had more time." The wistful sigh from his friend had him holding back a chuckle. There was definitely a shopping spree in the near future.

"Genesis, we bought the boy two complete outfits as well as a set of sleepwear. That's more than what the puppy asked for." Angeal reasoned. In his opinion, it was a miracle Genesis had only settled on _two _outfits and not twenty. The sleepwear had been his idea. It was only logical, since he doubted the cadet owned sleepwear and it was nearly night.

"Hush, Angeal. They boy needs it." And that was the end of that. Angeal only shook his head and continued walking alongside his best friend.

-x-x-x-

Cloud decided it was about time to get out. He was starting to get prune-y. _Ewww…._

With a sigh he stood up and got out of the hot tub, being careful not to slip on the tile as he stood. He quickly placed himself on the carpet, not liking the feel of cold tile under his pleasantly warmed bare feet. The fluffy towel sitting on the sink counter was grabbed quickly and unfolded. He toweled himself dry, taking care to make sure every inch of him was cleared of excess water, before he draped the towel over his head and rubbed wildly to dry his hair. He ignored the pangs at the rough treatment, determined to dry his hair as much as possible. After a few minutes of that he gingerly wrapped the towel around his slim waist and secured it tightly. He reached over and grabbed a potion from the box he'd brought into the bathroom with him, downing it quickly and sighing happily as it soothed aching muscles while it healed more bruising.

After a minute he bent down and attempted to put his dirty clothes into an unobtrusive pile in the corner. He'd grab it later.

It was at this time that his dilemma was suddenly realized. Cloud froze for two seconds as his mind attempted to catch up. When it did his eyes widened before he blinked. Once, then twice.

He didn't have any clean clothes.

He'd have to go out there, into General Sephiroth's apartment, in nothing but a towel.

-x-x-x-

"Fear not, for we have arrived!" Genesis announced with a flourish as he opened the door to Sephiroth's quarters and stepped in, Angeal following behind him. Zack bounced over to them and grinned.

"Hey, Angeal, Genesis! Did you get the clothes?" He asked excitedly.

Genesis nodded enthusiastically and took the bags from Angeal, leading the two dark-haired men to the living room and setting the bags on the loveseat. "Perpare to be astounded!" Sephiroth walked into the room then and joined them, saying a quick hello to the two new additions and moving his attention to whatever it was Genesis had purchased.

"Wait!" Zack suddenly yelled and all went still. Another moment passed and Zack spoke. "He's done," he said then.

For a second nobody knew what he'd meant but in the next moment they all got it.

"He needs clothes," Sephiroth stated.

"Here's the pajamas we bought," Angeal said, handing the clothing to Zack. "It's late and I'm assuming he's staying over tonight." Zack nodded and took the clothes before bounding over to the bathroom and knocking.

-x-x-x-

A knock at the door caused him to jump before he turned to answer it. "Y-yes?" he called out.

"Hey, Spike!" It was Zack. "We got you some clothes." Cloud breathed a sigh of relief at the other's words. At least Zack had thought to get him something to wear. He assumed the 'we' was him and Sephiroth. He'd thank them when he got out of the bathroom. He stepped forward and opened the door, taking the offered clothes before closing it again and locking it as he went to change.

Cloud swiftly unfolded the bundle in his hands and stared. It was a pair of sleep pants, boxers, and a long button up sleep shirt. They looked like they fit him perfectly too. What had him staring, though, was the pattern on the pants, ridiculousness of the boxers, and design on the shirt.

The sleep pants were light blue with little yellow chocobos and chicks scattered on them. They were cute, really, but it was obviously a nickname thing. The boxers were grey and across the back in bright yellow letters was the word 'Kyute' spelled exactly like that and sporting a little chocobo chick sitting cutely in the 'u'. The shirt was also light blue. There was a little chocobo stitched on the breast pocket and on the back it read in yellow lettering 'I wanna ride your Chocobo' with the image of a chocobo chick standing on a saddle. Again, cute but obviously a nickname thing. Where had Zack gotten these?

With a shrug he pulled the items on and sighed in comfort. Well, he supposed he liked them, at least.

With that done he exited the bathroom.

-x-x-x-

"You think he'll like them, 'Geal?" Zack asked his mentor as they waited for the blonde to come out.

Angeal shrugged. He hadn't picked the sleepwear out himself so he had no clue really what they looked like or whether the blonde would like them or not.

"He'll love them, Zack!" Genesis assured him. "He'll look adorable and it's perfect for him." Just as he said that the door to the bathroom creaked open and four pairs of eyes turned to watch as a very cute blonde cadet came into the hallway.

-x-x-x-

Cloud looked around as he exited the bathroom and spotted not just the familiar pair of violet eyes, but also green, chocolate, and grey. Cloud stopped. Then blinked. And stared. Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos had joined the group in the time that he'd been in the shower.

_Oh My Goddess…_

Cloud's little chocobo head was spinning. Never in all his sixteen years of living had he ever expected this to happen. He was dreaming. He had to be. There was no other explanation.

Cloud Strife was asleep somewhere, most likely under his bunk hiding from bullies, having the weirdest dream, because there was just _no_ way he was actually standing in Sephiroth's living quarters being stared at by Genesis Rhapsodos, Angeal Hewley, and the General himself after coming out of the man's shower.

A near squeal shook him from his thoughts and he jumped at the sudden exclamation.

"See, Zackary? I told you they'd look great! It suits him perfectly!" Genesis proclaimed in great excitement. Angeal wore a semi-sympathetic, but still very much amused, smile as he looked over at the young cadet. The poor kid was just standing there looking like a chocobo caught in headlights wearing the most ridiculous, though fitting, pair of pajamas he'd ever seen. It was priceless. Zack sat looking over the back of the couch and attempting to control his laughter. It was a lost cause and soon the raven-spiked Lieutenant was roaring with amused laughter.

That seemed to get the blonde's attention as his head quickly swiveled in Zack's direction and his face was suddenly splashed in color.

Sephiroth decided now would be a likely time to speak up. "Ignore him, cadet. Come over here." Extending a hand in a beckoning gesture to the blonde. Cloud turned to the General and blinked owlishly before seeming to get a hold on himself and walking towards the four highest ranking officers.

-x-x-x-

"I most definitely approve," Genesis nodded, giving the fidgeting blonde a thorough once over. Cloud only stood silently, shifting from one foot to the other as the rest of the room's occupants looked him over.

"Well, Cloud," Sephiroth spoke from above and behind him, causing the poor cadet to jump. "Though I don't think you need an introduction, we'll go through the motions anyway." A leather-gloved hand placed itself on his shoulder as Sephiroth came in to stand directly behind the overwhelmed teen. Cloud blushed lightly and continued playing nervously with the edge of his new sleep shirt. "You already know Zack. And, of course, you know me as General Sephiroth. This is Commander Angeal Hewley and Commander Genesis Rhapsodos." Sephiroth introduced with an encompassing wave towards his companions who sat before them on the couch. "Angeal, Genesis, this is cadet Cloud Strife."

Cloud found himself blushing once more and nodding his head in a sort of bow before giving a shy wave to the two newcomers. "H-hello, sirs."

"Gen is the one who bought you the PJ's, Spiky!" Zack told him and Cloud nearly gaped. Genesis Rhapsodos had personally picked out and purchased the new sleepwear he was currently wearing? All for him? Just because Zack had asked him to? Cloud wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Zack is always calling you 'chocobo' it seemed appropriate," Genesis explained his choice of clothing. Cloud only stared. And stared. Finally, he nodded before it registered completely and another light brushing of color touched his cheeks while he stuttered his thanks. "T-thank you, Commander Rhapsodos."

"The name is Genesis, little chocobo," Genesis told him, reaching up and ruffling blonde spikes. He marveled at how soft the boy's hair felt.

Cloud's glare burned holes into the side of Zack's head. If it was the last thing he did he would get his revenge on the idiot for that infernal nickname. _Just you wait, Zack Fair…_

Angeal let out a rumbling chuckle at the look his puppy was getting from the young cadet. "I don't think the young one appreciates the nickname you gave him, Pup." Zack tilted his head at his mentor, obviously not noticing the death glare he was receiving. Angeal laughed and indicated the menacing looking blonde pointedly. Zack's head turned and he met the piercing eyes of one very ruffled chocobo.

"Zack," Cloud's voice was low and threatening. "Six months."

Zack's appalled expression was priceless. Cloud smirked. _Serves the big idiot right._

There was a round of chuckles from the other three, even if Sephiroth was the only one who understood what had just happened.

"Seph, can we keep him?" Genesis voice suddenly asked, an excited grin on his face. All heads turned in the redhead's direction. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at his friend, Angeal did the same, while Zack just grinned, obviously liking the idea. "Well?" Genesis prodded.

All eyes turned to Strife who was now looking at Genesis with a slash between 'are you fuckin serious?' and 'I don't know whether to laugh or run screaming'.

Seconds passed while Cloud just… stood there, staring blankly. He was obviously dreaming. He wasn't really talking with the four most influential officers in the military. They weren't sitting around Sephiroth's living room laughing and joking. There was just no way this was really happening.

Cloud's hand came up and he pinched himself. It most definitely hurt.

_Oh… shit._

Bright blue eyes grew comically wide, blonde locks swinging back and forth while their gaze flashed from the men on the couch to the one standing behind him as Cloud took in the fact that he was actually talking (sort of) with his idols - and crushes - as well as _standing _in the _General's Living Room._

And just like that, Cloud Strife, sixteen-year-old blue-eyed blonde cadet from Nibelheim, fainted, Zack's laughter ringing in his ears.

Really, Zack hadn't even expected the little chocobo to last as long as he did.

-x-x-x-

**A/N: **Meh, the ending was kinda suckish, refusing to come out the way I wanted it to, but whatever. It worked out fine so it's all good :D It's sort of a one shot but there's a potential for more. Of course, if you all want me to continue you have to say so, because I'm a lazy ass like that… I guess we'll see if this becomes a multi-chap fic or not J

On that note, Look forward to a Bleach collab Crack fic if you like that sort of thing. It's coming soon. Eventually!

Reviews are love~ Please do tell me what you think. Good or Bad, doesn't matter. I wanna know. Hope you liked it though!

And, To all you amazing ASGZC (or other FF7 pairings thereof) Oneshot writers, I LOVE YOU ALL! Keep up the great work.


End file.
